Relaxers – what I have learnt

10 Jan

This is going to be a long post!  Brace yourself because I have so much to say!  Please bear with me.

I have been relaxing my hair since around 1993 (except for a 4 year break when I was natural from 2005 to 2009.  In all the time I was relaxed my hair never grew much past my shoulders.  I would often get instances when sections of it would break and I would have a patch of broken hair that I would have to comb over to disguise.  My hair would always weaken over time and I would end up cutting it or trimming a substantial amount off to regain some semblance of health.  I started out using Dark and Lovely and moved on to Dark and Lovely Precise.  When I relaxed my hair again after my four-year natural stint I decided to do some research into relaxers to figure out what mistakes I had been making previously and hopefully to make sure I didn’t repeat them this time round.  I am now relaxing my hair with Organic Root Stimulator Olive Oil relaxer (regular strength).  I go to a hair salon in Pretoria for all my retouches.  The hair stylist I use suggested that she leave the relaxer on my hair for shorter than the recommended time so that the hair is not relaxed “bone straight”.  She explained that this gives the hair a thicker appearance.  This is what I have been doing for the last three or so retouches and I’m glad I agreed.  My hair definitely looks thicker and healthier because of it.  Previously after a retouch my hair would resemble a wet cat.  The hair on my head would look so thin and frail and cling to my scalp.  This doesn’t happen anymore.

Relaxers are very strong chemicals that work by changing the basic structure of the hair shaft.  The chemical penetrates the cortex and loosens the natural curl pattern.  This inner layer of the hair shaft is not only what gives curly hair its shape but provides strength and elasticity.  Once this process is performed it is irreversible.

This process which produces the desired effect of “straighter” hair at the same time leaves hair weak and extremely susceptible to breaking and further damage. One must keep in mind that relaxers do not help the hair, but actually strip it. So by applying chemicals to the hair, even if it is to achieve a desired effect, it is never really to the benefit of your hair.  Because of this hair needs some extra tlc to counteract the damaging effects of the relaxer.  When looked after properly relaxed hair can thrive.  When not looked after it usually becomes dry, brittle and breaks.

There are two types of relaxers available – lye and no-lye relaxers.

Lye relaxers contain sodium hydroxide as a main active ingredient and are widely used in salons.  This type of relaxer is often distinguished by the fact that it comes in a form that does not need to be activated with a mixable liquid i.e. they come ready to apply.

No-lye relaxers contain calcium hydroxide or guanidine hydroxide. You can tell this type of relaxer because it needs to be mixed with an activator before it is applied to the hair.  These are often the relaxer “kits” we buy in the supermarkets.  They require a de-calcifying neutralizing shampoo to wash out the relaxer.  If this is not done the hair will give a wonderful straight appearance in the first couple of weeks, then later the hair starts breaking and dryness sets.  This is because calcium dries out the hair if not de-calcified.  Because of the delayed breakage we tend to blame other factors for the breakage.  I have witnessed very often in salons where someone has had a relaxer and their hair is washed with the salons regular shampoo and not the proper shampoo that will neutralise the relaxer.  The idea is not just to wash out the relaxer but to neutralise it so it stops processing the hair.  When getting a relaxer in a salon make sure the proper shampoo is used.  One such shampoo is Organic Root Stimulator Olive Oil Creamy Aloe Shampoo.  This is the same shampoo that is found in the Organic Root Stimulator relaxer kit.  It is also sold in 370ml bottles.  In South Africa I buy it in Clicks and Dischem.  I don’t use this shampoo often because it can be drying.  I think I use it about once a month or so to get rid of product buildup on the hair seeing as I put so much stuff on it!  I also use it as my first shampoo after getting a retouch.  I deep condition every time I shampoo.

Unfortunately, people sometimes make the mistake of leaving a relaxer on the hair for too long, leading to dry, dull hair due to over-processing. This usually happens when self relaxing at home.  Another no no is putting relaxer on all your hair and just not on the new growth.  This is a mistake I made for years and I paid dearly for it.  The only time relaxer goes on all your hair is if it’s the very first time you are relaxing (on “virgin” hair).  After that only put relaxer on the new growth.  I judge hair salons by this.  If I walk in and find a hairdresser putting relaxer on all the hair, even that which is previously relaxed, I get skeptical!  Applying relaxer to all the hair during a retouch just leads to over processing.  This is the most common misuse of relaxers.

While the hair will remain permanently relaxed, the roots will need to be retouched as they grow back in – which will generally be within six to eight weeks.  I am on a quest to try and retouch every 12 weeks.  My last retouch was on 4 November 2010.  I am aiming to get my next retouch around the 4th of February 2011.

So to pass on the lessons that I have learnt from years of relaxing mistakes:

  1. Go to a good reputable salon for your retouches.  Yes these salons charge much more for the retouch (sometimes twice as much) but its worth it.  “Backyard” salons sometimes use the wrong shampoo and they have been known to mix in other things into the relaxer in order to increase the quantity and be able to use it on more clients.
  2. When retouching make sure to only put relaxer on the new growth.  I cannot overemphasis this!  If your hairstylist is putting relaxer on all the hair seriously consider changing hairstylists (or salons!).  Some people base their scalps and put oils on the ends of their hair for protection.  Some relaxer kits even come with product for this included.
  3. Do not retouch sooner than 6 weeks to avoid overlapping relaxer and therefore over processing.
  4. All hair is different.  What works for me may not work for you.  Keep tabs on your hair so you can learn what works for your hair.  This is something I am still learning to do.
  5. Condition your hair after the relaxer is rinsed out.  If you can, deep condition.  Most relaxer kits include the conditioner / deep conditioner in the kit.  Some salons will charge extra for the deep conditioner / treatment.  Its worth paying for.  Alternatively just deep condition at your next wash at home.  This is what I do.  I wash my hair about 2 days or so after a retouch.  I use my Organic Root Stimulator Olive Oil Creamy Aloe shampoo and follow with a protein deep conditioner.  I will write a post about protein!

64 Responses to “Relaxers – what I have learnt”

  1. Nono Tyatyeka 31 August, 2011 at 12:28 pm #

    I have a very thin hairline and due to putting on weaves and braids, mya front hairline has become so light.

    • Tendayi 31 August, 2011 at 12:35 pm #

      The hairline is one of the most common hair complaints we have as african women. As a start you would need to stop the hairstyles that are causing tension to your hairline. You can carry on wearing braids and weaves but take extra care that your hairline is not pulled too tightly or you can leave out the hairline if you can. The hairline can never recover if its continually being pulled. You can then try massaging in some natural oils to your scalp on the hairline. You can use oils like castor oil. I have had success with castor oil. My hairline has grown back. I us castor oil twice a week on a clean scalp.

  2. precious Mporokoso 27 January, 2012 at 4:52 pm #

    This is very insigtful…iam learning to grow my hair healthy and breakage free

  3. Beth 27 January, 2012 at 5:02 pm #

    It’s near impossible to find a stylist that knows how to properly care for hair. i though i’d found one because the ladies that treat their hair there have incredibly long hair but i’ve noticed nearly everyone’s hairline is damaged. Now you raised the issue of over processing which also happens here. I’m not sure if you are at liberty to but can you suggest stylists or salons? in the pretoria area (maybe yours:)). I’ve been to high-end salons where i paid R500 to straighten and i’ve also been to low cost salons where they tug at your hear and thus weaken it further- main pattern though is that they all fry my hair and use relaxer on previously relaxed hair… If it isn’t a problem, please please please give a reference.


    • Tendayi 28 January, 2012 at 6:21 pm #

      Let me email you Beth

      • Marissa 17 August, 2013 at 4:50 am #

        do you know any reputable salon in dallas tx? My hair was colored and some little pieces were bleached not my entire head 4-5 months ago and I am afraid to go to a salon because they may keep it on for a while or may not know what i previously put in my head. should i just self relax? I have short afro hair but i want long straight hair for when i go back to college

      • Tendayi 17 August, 2013 at 5:27 pm #

        Hi Marissa

        Sorry I have no knowledge of US salons as I am based in South Africa. I hope someone reads that that will be able to answer you. A reputable stylist would assess your hair and also ask about its history before relaxing it. Self relaxing works if you know what you are doing. If not you may damage your hair yourself or it may come out unevenly relaxed.

  4. laura 28 January, 2012 at 10:54 am #

    Hi Tendayi,

    Does castor oil come in different brands? If so, which one would you recommend?

    • Tendayi 28 January, 2012 at 6:17 pm #

      Hey Laura!!
      It doesnt matter which brand you use. Just make sure it is 100% castor oil with nothing else added in – no flavours, no preservatives etc. Just 100% castor oil.

  5. Thilivhali 20 March, 2012 at 8:12 am #

    Tendayi, thank you very much for the great article. I am a qualified hairdresser but not practising anymore. It’s good that you managed to touch one area of hairloss, I however believe that there is a need for our hairdressers to be educated and be informed of the wrongs that they are doing. To begin with, they don’t understand chemical reformation and application,if they don’t understand or know, they are bound to make mistakes and that is costly to clients unfortunatly. One of the reasons I left the industry was that people don’t have respect for the industry. They use it as a way of making money with no interest whatsoever in what they are doing. That is why thet never bother learn and be informed of the industry they are in.
    This is a concerning matter I feel it needs to be addressed in a much broader platform.

    • Tendayi 20 March, 2012 at 12:29 pm #

      Thanks for this reply Thilivhali. You are so right about the hairdressers industry. I think the other problem is that anyone can call themselves a hairdresser. Anyone can operate from home or from a street corner and use relaxers etc without any training. Many salons will recruit a hairdresser because they can braid hair. The rest they will learn on the job on a clients head.

  6. Ms Z. 20 March, 2012 at 1:37 pm #

    Reblogged this on Soul Hair and commented:
    Brilliant article for those who relax hair, some valuable lessons in this article!

  7. Vimbikai 23 March, 2012 at 9:33 pm #

    hi Tendayi? so the best relaxer is the one you mix or the already made? l have been using Olive oil for a good while now and l put a black dye in my hair a day after l relaxed it and then it started breaking and had to cut all of it off, so l have been braiding my hair for a few months now and ready to start again. are hair foods any good?

    • Tendayi 24 March, 2012 at 1:29 pm #

      Hi Vimbikai
      I don’t think we can say any one ot these relaxers is better. I think its about whats best for your hair. If you do a search you will find that some women get good results with lye and some with no lye. It depends on the individual.

      Colouring your hair soon after relaxing it is probably the reason why your hair broke off. Take a look at this post where I go into detail about hair colour. It is suggested you leave at least 2 – 4 weeks in between relaxing and colouring. Remember that colouring is a chemical process so a relaxer and colour is like double processing. It can be very damaging to the hair.

      Instead of hair food I prefer moisturisers. You want to mouisturise your hair, not just coat it with petrolatum / mineral oil. There are a few posts on the blog where I go into detail. I will podt some of them here.

  8. Savannah 27 May, 2012 at 10:32 pm #

    I just relaxed my hair, but what would happen if I washed out the Deep Conditioner before the 24 hours is up?

    • Tendayi 28 May, 2012 at 1:24 pm #

      Hi Savannah
      Im not sure I understand your question. Do you keep deep conditioner on your hair for 24 hours?

      Deep conditioner can be kept on for anything from 15 mins to several hours or even overnight. It just depends on the individual. It has no negative effects really.

      • Julie 28 April, 2013 at 6:10 pm #

        no,she means what would happen if she deep conditions her hair within 24 hours of retouching it.

      • Tendayi 28 April, 2013 at 9:09 pm #

        Thanks Julie for clarifying. You can actually deep condition straight after relaxing if you like. Deep conditioning soon after getting a relaxer will not affect the relaxer results.

  9. Tan 21 July, 2012 at 10:13 pm #

    I just put a relaxer in after not having one in 11 months and it didn’t take. My edges are straight but some parts of my head is still curly. It s a brand i dont normally use. How long until i can put another one in? What would you suggest i do?

    • Tendayi 22 July, 2012 at 9:36 pm #

      Doing a relaxer to correct mistakes of a previous relaxer is called doing a ‘corrective relaxer’. Google the term there are thougsands of articles and blogs as well as youtube videos. I have never done one myself but my advice would be wait the usual time to your next relaxer and correct it then. In the meantime look after your hair by moisturiseing and deep conditioning regularly.

      When you get to relaxing apply the relaxer creme to the new growth as usual. When done you can then apply the creme to the parts that need correcting. You can then rinse off all the creme as usual. Note that the parts that need correcting may only need creme for 5 minutes or so. You would need to be careful so that you dont overprocess the previously relaxed hair.

      Hope this helps.

  10. Getrude 21 August, 2012 at 3:48 pm #

    Hie Tendayi, thank you very much for enlightening us. I currently use Dark and lovely relaxer and I would like to change to Olive oil, how can i do the switch without damaging my hair.

    • Tendayi 21 August, 2012 at 3:55 pm #

      Thank you 🙂

      Wait until you have lots of new growth to minimise any overlapping of relaxers. Make sure to relax only the new growth, not all the hair.

  11. AravenaC 05 October, 2012 at 12:21 am #

    dear Tendayi

    i really want to get my hair relaxed, my hair is a virgin hair except i sometimes straighten my hair which really doesn’t straighten it. i have very thick hair. im not sure which relaxer to use or even what to do after i get it relaxed. one of my biggest concern is when i get my hair relaxed can i still wash it regularly with my original shampoos, like every week? ive heard much about ORS(Organic Root Stimulator) olive oil relaxer and might probably use it i want straight hair but sometimes its seems as if its not possible. i also wanted to know if ORS was a lye relaxer. I really don’t know what to do? you can also email me at

    • Tendayi 05 October, 2012 at 8:42 am #

      The choice of relaxer is really a matter of preference. It depends which relaxer will work well with your hair. I use Organic Root Stimulator and it works well for me but that doesnt mean it will work well for you too. I suggest you do a shortlist of relaxers, find ones that generally get good reviews and then pick one of them. A lot of good things are being said about Mizani relaxers, maybe you could include those in your shortlist. When you do settle for a relaxer, if you choose to do it yourself make sure to follow the instructions. Base your scalp to prevent irritation. Also do not leave the relaxer on your hair for too long ie beyond the recommended time. If you go to a stylist for the relaxer, choose someone who knows what they are doing.

      To answer you about ORS – they have a lye and a no ly relaxer. If you buy the kit sold in stores, it will clearly state whether it is lye or no lye on the box.

      After relaxing you can wash once a week. I actualy wash twice a week. I find this works best for me.

  12. vivy 18 November, 2012 at 9:18 pm #

    how do i deep condition my hair? is it by putting much condition in my hair? thanks

    • Tendayi 18 November, 2012 at 10:07 pm #

      Its not about the quantity of conditioner Vivy, its the technique. It involves applying conditioner to your hair and then covering with a shower cap or with a warm towel. The warmth allows the conditioner to penetrate. You can cover your hair for 15 minutes or longer, even several hours. I write about it in great detail in this post –

  13. Zola 30 November, 2012 at 9:08 am #

    Hi Tendayi

    Thank you very much for such a great blog. You have motivated me to start my hair journey. I will be relaxing my hair tomorrow, I bought the ORS relaxer kit for fine-medium hair as I have thin hair. Its been 13 weeks since I last relaxed my hair. Do you think it would be wise to do the relax myself or should I go to a salon?

    • Tendayi 30 November, 2012 at 10:22 am #

      I would suggest you go to salon unless you are confident that you will be able to do it properly. It has to be a good salon though where the stylist knows what they are doing. Relaxers have to be done properly otherwise you will have problems with your hair.

  14. doris 19 April, 2013 at 1:31 pm #

    Tnx very much look forward to the deep proteins treatment and education on blow drying. Lots of love

  15. Adeline 26 April, 2013 at 4:11 pm #

    hi Tendayi

    I just recently moved to Randburg and I haven’t found a good salon. Any recommendations of good salons in Randburg that you know of. I cant just trust anyone with relaxing my hair. Please help:)

    • Tendayi 02 May, 2013 at 9:04 am #

      Hi Andeline

      I’m sorry I cant recommend any salons in Randburg. You are right though, dont trust just anyone with relaxing your hair. It has to be done by someone who knows what they are doing.

  16. Tayvia 10 June, 2013 at 4:29 am #

    I want to do a big chop and my cousin said my hair wont never grow anymore is that true?

    • Tendayi 10 June, 2013 at 11:16 am #

      You hair will grow back! Our hair is constantly growing and thats a scientific fact! Have you noticed how men (and boys) constantly have to cur their hair to keep it a certain length? Thats hair growth! You also see it if you get a cut, you need to constantly be visiting the salon to maintain your cut because your hair is growing.

  17. Anele 18 June, 2013 at 7:58 pm #

    Hi Tendayi

    My last touch up was on the 27April (Dark n lovely) and I had my hair coloured with temp. Caivil product. Soo I want to know: firstly can I straighten my hair and put in hair extensions for atleast 2/3months instead of retouching it? And then retouch after Aug/Sept?

    • Tendayi 25 June, 2013 at 9:35 am #

      My last relaxer was in November 2012. I still havent relaxed and am planning braids next week for 8 weeks time! You can go for months between relaxers if you want. The trick is just to make sure you are taking care of your hair. It will be weakest where the relaxed hair meets the new growth and if ignored it will break at this vulnerable point. There are some women who successfully relax their hair only once or twice a year. It can be done. I normally braid my hair after 8 to 10 weeks from my last relaxer and I keep the braids in for 8 weeks. I make sure to moisturise the braids though so my hair never lacks moisture. Thats the key.

  18. shashi 25 June, 2013 at 8:21 pm #

    thanks for the great article..How long do you have to wait to wash your hair after a Lye relaxer

    • Tendayi 27 June, 2013 at 6:29 am #

      As far as I know you do not have to wait at all. You can wash your hair whenever you like.

  19. Josie 04 July, 2013 at 12:46 am #

    Just want to thank you of the awesome info you have on your blog, very informative!
    I recently cut most of my ends off due to damaged hair-ends, excessive use of heat, unsufficient iron in my system (iron deficiency), lack of taking care of my hair during winter and other cold season, lack of moisturizing my hair… As you can see i made many hair mistakes with resulted with unhealthy, breaking, falling hair!
    Now that i cut most of my ends, i feel like starting again with a healthy regimen. But, I just got my hair relaxed (the hairdresser didnt relax it too well) so im afraid that if i start this regimen (especially the prepoo’s and shampoiing part) i might weaken the little relaxer that is in my hair which wil cause to go for another touch-up sooner than later, im not really sure how to handle new growth for a long time and make my hair look presentable?
    So right now, this is what is buggiing me, should i just shampoo less or still start a routine even if the relaxer weakens?
    Thank you <33

    • Tendayi 23 July, 2013 at 12:29 pm #

      A good hair regime will not weaken your relaxer at all. It will actually help prevent your hair from breakage. I suggest you begin looking after your hair, you can trim of any unhealthy damaged ends gradually. Do not look at new growth as a bad thing. It just shows that your hair is growing. Its not a negative thing at all.

  20. Nas 25 July, 2013 at 5:28 am #

    Hi Tendayi.

    I am one of those who relax their hair only twice a year , it works fine for me, but the problem i was having was the breakage and the dryness that came with chemicals. Thnaks for this post, i will try this method hoping it works for me.

    Really thanks, very insightful blog.

    East Africa

    • Tendayi 25 July, 2013 at 11:36 am #

      You’re welcome 🙂

  21. Jordan 05 August, 2013 at 3:03 am #

    Hey Tendayi, I have been getting relaxers since 2009 I’m 18 now and today I went to my friend who gave me a relaxer and it wasn’t until she started flat ironing my hair that she says she didn’t use a neutralizing shampoo because her hair stylist said using Tresseme deep cleansing shampoo was the same thing and she has given several relaxers to people using the same method with no complaints, but Two hours later my mom tells she bought neutralizing shampoo and then we rewashed my hair with the neutralizer then shampoo then conditioner. Do you thing my hair will fall out or am I ok now? I’m super scared I could loose my hair.

    • Tendayi 05 August, 2013 at 12:37 pm #

      Im sure your hair will be fine since this has only happened once. It’s always best to use the recommended shampoo so as to stop the relaxer process and to prevent your hair from becoming overprocessed. Some of the shampoos also come with a colour indicator to help you see if all the relaxer has been washed out.

      • Jordan 05 August, 2013 at 5:48 pm #

        Thank you. And I’m just scared that we waited to long to the neutralizing shampoo in

  22. Cas 18 August, 2013 at 3:10 am #

    Thank you, this is a really great article Tendayi. 🙂 I don’t know if anyone has information for me, but a little over a year ago I tried using a Dark n Lovely kit to relax my hair, and I left the relaxer in for the exact amount of time recommended, however when I finished, my hair was still curly.. So I would really like to have totally straight hair and try it again soon, except I certainly would not want weak or overprocessed hair, so I guess I am wondering if I should leave the relaxer in a little longer than last time..? or perhaps try a different brand like the organic olive oil one above..? I’m not sure, but of course everyone is different. I really do not have the money to see a salon, so any information or experiences for me regarding home-kits would be very much appreciated!

    • Tendayi 06 September, 2013 at 2:11 pm #

      Was your hair completely natural before the relaxer? Also how long has it been since the last relaxer? I would say wait at least 6 to 8 weeks before trying again and this time adjust the time slightly to compensate for your hair. Also see this article on corrective relaxers for more –

      • Cas 13 September, 2013 at 4:37 am #

        Thank you for that article on corrective relaxing, I think now I know what I will do. My hair had been completely natural, but it has been well over 6 to 8 weeks so I will try again. Now I realize that I didn’t apply the relaxer evenly enough, because the parts of hair I applied to first went for the amount of time I was aiming for, but the rest did not. Also, I think I will leave it on for a little bit longer, because my hair’s SO curly! Thanks again and wish me luck 😉

      • Tendayi 13 September, 2013 at 10:38 am #

        Good luck 🙂 Remember start with the sections with the thickest hair.

  23. Mbasa 29 August, 2013 at 9:46 am #

    thank you for your blog,

    I used to have thick long hair, but I started putting weave after weave and not givin my hair time to breath and worse part I don’t moisturize and I sometimes use different i am really paying for my my question to you is which hair food can you recommend that can make my hair thicker, cz that’s my focus I dnt realy care much bout long hair I just want black healthy and thicker hair…now im using the organic relaxer just started but I need something I can use to base my hair from time to time…

    • Tendayi 05 September, 2013 at 1:21 pm #

      The answer to your question is quite broad! You need to start taking proper care of your hair, your hair will automatically start to get thicker as it will break less and it will be healthy. This is always the best place to start. Healthy hair will be at its thickest. As for your scalp, you can use castor oil which is well known for making hair thicker by encouraging growth. Just massage it lightly on a clean scalp at least once a week.

      Take a look at these posts as a start for your hair care –

  24. Stella 03 October, 2013 at 10:04 pm #

    Hi Tendayi,

    I love your blog. It really is very informative. How should i take, at the minimum, after retouching hair, before i braid it again? My hair also doesnt grow much, sometimes it grows to a certain length and then the next time i retouch it it would be shorter than it was before, so you know why that is? Thanks

  25. Yolanda 15 October, 2013 at 11:09 am #

    OMG. Its crazy. I started my hair journey in March 2013 (we now in October 2013). That was after I cut my hair into a short pixie cut which did not work out because my hair was under processed. Some sections were over processed. I used ORS relaxer kit normal strength (in box). The hair dresser went on about how weak that relaxer was and that I should not use that relaxer again because it didn’t ‘catch’ on my hair. Since March 2013 I have been braiding my hair once a month. I braid it out after a month, wash with a clarifying shampoo/moisturizing shampoo followed by a deep conditioner (protein/moisture). My hair grew a lot. That is when I realized the potential of my hair to grow when you take good care of it. The 4C texture of my own ‘natural’ hair and the under processed hair(over processed on some sections) was becoming difficult to manage. Can you believe I do not even know how to two strand twist my hair. Styling my transitioning hair was a nightmare. So I decided to relax my hair. I went to a hair dresser that used to dress my hair when I was little. The way that salon handled my hair was traumatizing. From how the relaxer was applied to how it was washed out. They were rough and horrible with my hair. I used dark and lovely precise to relax and creamy aloe shampoo to neutralized. The stylist suggested I also neutralize with some ‘soft and and free’ neutralizer. Consequently, I used both neutralizers, one after the other.Now at 2 weeks post relaxer my hair feels dry and its shedding and breaking more often. I have never seen my hair break this much. So its pretty scary. I did light protein treatment with ORS replenishing pak and did corn rows for a week. I took my hair out the following week to add moisture and the sheds were crazy. I am not sure how to approach this.

  26. Y 08 November, 2013 at 8:10 am #

    Your post has been truly awe inspiring. Thank you so much! Do you mind kindly telling me which salon you go to in Pretoria? I think I need their hair expertise to get my locks healthy again.
    Kind Regards

    • Tendayi 11 November, 2013 at 4:23 pm #

      I have not been to a salon for a relaxer in a year. The woman who used to relax my hair left the salon and is no longer doing hair 😦 I will be looking for someone else to relax my hair soon. I haven’t found them yet.

  27. Ntombekhaya Ratyana 12 November, 2013 at 10:14 am #

    hi i cut my hair last year ive been trying to grow it out and i love the olive oil products

  28. Andile 22 November, 2013 at 12:57 pm #

    Wow Tendayi! This has been truly enlightening. Thank you so much. I am looking to relax my hair for the first time after 4 years of natural hair. Your tips will definitely come in handy. once again thank you very much.

    • Tendayi 22 November, 2013 at 4:15 pm #

      you’re welcome 🙂 Glad you found it useful.

  29. Kristian Heath 27 November, 2013 at 5:25 am #

    Well I usually relax my hair on my own.. But since Ive been doin research or what not on how to grow long hair ( it was growing fine before) I decided to stretch relaxers and texlax. I moisturize and seal and all the other stuff as well. Then I noticed when I get my signature hairstyle lol (roller set) it looks a hot mess after a few hours and it usually last forever and I have beautiful curls for atleast a week and a half. I Told my stylist she suggested I get a virgin relaxer again. Because I had straight strand ls and just flat out natural strands at the same time. So I did it I wonder How my hair will turn out now… I wonder could that be an except to the rule only puting relaxer all over only when it’s ur first time..?? Hmm..

    • Tendayi 12 January, 2014 at 12:42 am #

      What you are describing sounds to me like a ‘corrective relaxer’ – This is when you put relaxer creme on all the hair to ‘correct’ a mistake made in a previous relaxer where the hair was underprocessed. The relaxer creme is left for a short time to compensate for the previous time. Read the post where I describe it in detail.

  30. nicolet 31 December, 2013 at 1:46 am #

    After a perm I deep condition. But do I let it air dry or blow dry it? And after I relax my hair do I continue to co wash it every two weeks. And wat daily moisturizer would u recommend?

    • Tendayi 12 January, 2014 at 12:25 am #

      Whether to air dry or blow dry is your choice. Air drying is often recommended because there is no heat involved so no chance of causing heat damage to the hair. Whenever I get a fresh relaxer I blow dry and flat iron the hair. After that I do not do these things until my next relaxer.

      After you relax continue to wash and deep condition the hair. Hair care needs to be consistent for you to see results.

      There are many great daily moisturisers to choose from. I use quite a few myself. See them here –

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